Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Trying to cover of the smell of death

My boyfriend came home yesterday with a box of Cuban cigars which he showed to me like he had dug up treasure. I was less than impressed.

"Those things smell like ass."

"But they're really, really good! Do you want one?"

"No."

"But they're good."

"You're smoking those on the balconey."

"But it's cold out!" For the record, it was like 25 degrees. It was just windy.

"You're smoking those on the balconey. And you'd better hope there's mouthwash in the bathroom, or else you're sleeping on the chesterfield."

He pouted, but eventually called one his friends who lives on the fifth floor and they sat out on the balconey with their horrible cigars and smoked them. "Kelly," he yelped, sticking his head into the door.

I was sitting on the chesterfield watching Canadian Idol (judge me if you must, but that show is awesome. Awesome to the point where I no longer want to stick Ben Mulroney's head in a blender) and I looked up at him, scowling as the smoke wafted into our apartment. "What?"

"Can you get us some scotch?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

So he then came into the apartment carrying the foul thing in his hand and proceeded to get the scotch and glasses. To his credit he wasn't smoking it, but he still carried it through the living room and kitchen. I didn't say anything, because I knew he wasn't trying to be cruel or get his vengeance on me, he's just a little dim sometimes. I opened all the windows, but the scent was still lingering when I went to bed. I misted the entire apartment with L'Occitane's Green Tea Eau de Bienvenue (Green Tea's Eau de Welcome, by the way, is a stupid name). I could still smell it this morning so when I went for a walk to get a cappucino, I decided to go to the Starbucks in Bankers Hall so I could make a stop in at Crabtree and Evelyn. My taste for Crabtree and Evelyn has waned lately, but they'd had some interesting new home fragrance products last time I was in. Naturally, those fragrances were limited edition, but I did pick up Evelyn Rose room spray. It's really lovely. I am a big fan of roses, but not so much a fan of rose perfumes, since they tend to smell stodgy. This one is really beautiful, though. It's light, and airy, and adds a feminine touch to the room.

I misted it around, and am currently enjoying the scent of an apartment that doesn't smell like a burning diaper. In fact, I'm liking this stuff so much that it might replace L'Occitane as my room spray of choice.

As I was misting it, though, I wondered if by trying to eliminate the lingering scent of cigar, I was just trading one cancer for another.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dammit. I was so glad to read your take on Kitson (in a word: iiiiiggggghhhh; in several words: that is some fugly merchandise) that I bookmarked you. But now I feel like a traitor to you and my gender, for I am a scotch drinker, a card shark, a foxy lady -- and above all a Cigar Aficionado. Tell your boyfriend that Zino Platinums make a good substitute for Cuban Cohibas, if he doesn't want to, you know, break the law.

2:20 PM  
Blogger butasong said...

Aw, you're not a traitor. I partake in the scotch, but since I smoked throughout my teens, I figure that it's best not to start again, even if it's just a cigar now and then. Although that's not a problem since the smell makes me gag.

As Canadians, though, we don't have a problem with Cuban cigars breaking the law. It's just Americans who get the short end of the random mid-fifties communism vendetta stick.

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, you're Canucks! In that case, feel free to raid your boyfriend's stash and send them to me -- two birds, one stone, right?

5:31 PM  

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