Monday, August 08, 2005

I hate Kitson

I don't get Kitson. Everyone I know who goes to LA comes back gushing that I have to go to Kitson because I will love it and I will come back with half the store. Every time I think that Kitson has undergone some sort of stylistic revolution in the last few months, and then I log onto the website and wonder if my friends think I've had massive head trauma or something. I've never seen a store so expensive where everything looks so cheap. Browsing through this site feels like wandering through Claire's or Ardenes, or some other store aimed exclusively at 12-year-olds. Maybe I'm just getting old.

I ended up at the Kitson website again today. Other than the skincare, I has a really hard time finding things that I liked. Most of the time I was just recoiling from the screen, making a face that I would have been ashamed of had anyone been there to see it.

Okay, there were a few things that I sort of liked, this Curious George sweater, for example. But $325 USD is far too much to pay for something with Curious George on it, and would it have killed the model to put on a bra? I find the presentation is a big reason of why I can't stand Kitson. I don't want to see dry, ashy hands or nipple-itis while I'm shopping. It doesn't take a genius to realize that building a brand depends a lot on selling an image and a fantasy, and very few people aspire to dishpan hands and ogling from men in manpris.

Otherwise, I just found most of the site about as repulsive as its layout. These Chick by Nicky Hilton sweatpants, for instance. Sweatpants? They are not couture, bitches. They are not fashion. They are for wearing at the gym and sleeping in, although I even find sleeping in sweatpants depressing (sweatpants are a depressing thing for me, I don't know why). Also, they make the model look like a wide load. I don't want to know what they'd look like on a regular human being.

I hate these roadkill shoes and I'll hate them even more when I start seeing Eva Longoria wearing them everywhere. They look like the Deliverance equivalent of Uggs, like they were constructed out of squirrels and opossums scraped off an Appalachian rural route. I can't imagine the logic behind the group of marketers who allowed those to see the light of day.

I am normally a fan of statement-making jewelry, but even I can't get behind this necklace. It appears to be so heavy that it's making the model's chest sag (okay, so, really it's not. Buy a bra, Kitson people!). I keep expecting it to just keep growing and growing until the model is tangled up inside it like vines in the rainforest.

The more I look, the worse it gets. Like these mink sleep masks. I'm not a fan of using the skins of animals that aren't common food animals. Anyone stupid enough to spend $195 to put mink on their face (as an aside: WHY? I have creams on when I go to sleep. The last thing I need is my sleep mask shedding onto my cheeks so that I wake up covered in fuzz, or picking fur out of my contacts all day) should have to eat mink stew for the next three weeks. It's the circle of life.

Having seen this store, I completely understand how Hollywood manages to provide Go Fug Yourself with such ample ammunition.

3 Comments:

Anonymous ClosetTherapy said...

I know what you mean about the whole Kitson thing. However, I have found that they put the "worse" items on the webpage... mostly items that they've ordered too much of or items that do not sell. I usually have better luck going to the actual store but I can't stand their markups.

9:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate Kitson too.
Fraser Ross is more interested in the commercial branding of HIS name than actual being a fashion trendsetter. I think it is horrible what he did to Lauren Conrad. He practically sent out a press release dropping the line because of Poor sales.

Bullshit,

she would not do an in store publicity visit, so he retailiated.

what a way to make enemies Frasier.

When you fall, and you will, it will be a hard landing you fall on.

2:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fraser Ross has over-extended himself by opening three more stores when retail sales have declined a staggering 55% at his existing sites. He is being advised by his attorney that just the name "Kitson" is enough to sell if and inevitably, when the stores fail. No celebrities go to the store unless they are paid. It is not fashionable to go there, and the stars and "it" girls are on to greener pastures. It's heyday is gone. Ross bashes Victoria Beckham, Lauren Conrad, and Camila Alves for not supporting their lines by "appearing" at his store. There is a pattern of verbal abuse and mental instability here that should be treated by a medical professional, not the media Mr Ross.

7:24 PM  

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